My positivity is currently failing me. I know missing a bus is not worth emotional distress, no matter how many plans it may mess up. But, damn, I just took the wrong bus and watched 3 buses I could have taken go by and it does not feel good.
But why, I ask, does missing one (pr even three) bus feel bad?
I think my first issue here is time. I wasted time getting on the wrong bus, i wasted time missing three buses and I have to spend more time waiting for the next bus to come (which will also take longer than the one I was supposed to go on). It’s friggin’ frustrating. I always feel like I have ten thousand things to do that never get done because I’m always dicking around. And when something takes more time away I just feel like screaming. This, my friends, is not a healthy attitude and logically doesn’t make much sense. Wouldn’t a better solution to my problem be to not dick around? I can’t control buses, I can (supposedly) control how much time I spend trolling movie forums.
I think what is next is ineptitude. That disappointment in myself for taking the wrong bus and then failing to get on three other buses. And doing this on the day I was supposed to meet with someone too! The frustration is real. And all this means a change of plans. Now I gotta do things different because I goofed up. As annoying as that is in the end it’s, once again, something I can’t change. Like, I can’t at all change it (if only I hadn’t had my time machine stolen in my time travel adventures). So, really, it’s something I should learn to let go.
Over a decade of living without a car means ten years of pent-up bus frustrations that are never fun to deal with and will probably happen again. Yet, they’re a part of life as many frustrations are and the only thing I can do about them is change how I respond.
So I really, really (really) hope that next time I see a bus leave me behind because I didn’t make it to the stop on time I can be more chill and the urge to scream and stop my feet diminishes. There’s a lot of bad out in the world homies, buses shouldn’t be a source. And, hey, I got an article out of it.